strange behaviour if you are declared dead.
is the "waiting for YOURNAME" red(server thinks you are still loading) or yellow? if yellow: "waiting for YOURNAME" means waiting for you to place you start position by clicking on the map inside your start box (green overlayed).
can you specify what you mean by "unable to pick commander" ? can you see the commander choose menu, but if you click one it does not select one? this menu has a set of default commanders for beginners. you can later customize your com set yourself through the website, with experience/played games you can unlock more technologies to do so.
