what is the most optimal start?

In 1v1, there are different start depending, what fac you have, who is your enemy, what is the map etc... But it revolves around caping mex, equalizing at least energy to mex to not stall, make little raider to defend/raid, expand lightly and quickly to get good income fast, and achieving a good map control to deny mex to your enemy.
http://zero-k.info/Battles?Title=&Map=&PlayersFrom=&PlayersTo=&Age=0&MinLength=&MaxLength=&Mission=0&Bots=2&Rank=6&Victory=0

you have a school running a ZK tourny?!?! wow lucky

if they get pissed off at getting their commanders kidnapped they may think it's a bullshit strategy they can't counter and wont want to play the game again, if so I would spill the beans that all they have to do is keep their unit moving and the herc can't pick it up.

Anyway for the start: Queue placing a factory before the match starts. Get 1-2 constructors and start building metal extractors and a few solar collectors, meanwhile send a few raiders and harass the enemy, the best defense is a good offence, just try to keep those raiders alive and have them be a constant worry to the enemy.

We're in the same time zone so if you want I could maybe give you some coaching!
not going to pretend I'm any good (ahem trinity elo inflation) but given you're dieing to herc rush maybe I can help