(a response triggered by this thread:
https://zero-k.info/Forum/Post/267119#267119 )
First of all: I'm only a martyr if I was struck when I was doing good. As a rule of thumb, I assume that nobody believes me, and everybody knows what's happening regardless, and this should be a rule of thumb for all. Whether I'm acting as a martyr, or whether I'm not acting as a martyr, should be irrelevant.
Second of all: "A history of spamming pointless threads" is an exaggeration. Most of the less meaningful threads, I post in the off-topic or even asyulum if it's crazy enough. A "history" implies that a person has made the mistake more than 10 times consistently. If somebody believes that I post meaningless threads, sure, direct the question to me personally, maybe separate from the question.
Third of all: I'm not going to pretend to be smart by making my threads longer than they have to be. Not everyone has the time to express themselves in the length of
this thread with
this amount of posts. Making my threads unnecessarily long and poetic, just to be seen as a respectable member of society, is not only dumb, but could potentially ruin any community, and that's with the benefit of the doubt.
Fourth of all: Thanks again, for treating my question seriously, even though so many people thought that I was joking.
Fifth of all: I am tired of high rank players being patreonized. I don't get to talk about this problem NEARLY enough! So many games are thought to be boring just because some players have the power strength equivalent of a speedrunner, which means they skip 99% of the game's mechanics. Especially in team games, high rank players often boast with their speedrunner-level strats, when even in other games, such as StarCrafts and the new mechabellium game and Team Fortress 2, people often speak about just how much more whimsical the casual play is. I don't want Zero-K to degrade into a professional game with a variety of mechanics that is not meant for a professional level. I will need to talk about this one day or another, in far greater detail, on the account of myself, on the account of everyone else, even if just to get this conversation going, even if just to remind people that 1% isn't 100%.
Sixth of all: I do act as a martyr. It's the only way I can lose the fear of death and speak in the first place, since it feels like any step I take will lead me to downfall, and I never knew which step it would be. Assuming that my every step will be my downfall helps me to keep moving, since I know that even if I fail, even if people dare me to fail, I'll keep on moving. I only act as a martyr when I feel threatened, but it is the only way I can speak what I think, without becoming insincere or dull or boring or lame.
Seventh of all: I suspect that the reason why people fire at me to begin with is because of envy. I often think to myself, that when I say something, and people take it with offense, it's not just me but it's something that people before me have faced. I feel like when others have given up on being fun and cheerful and sincere, I keep on moving. And the reason why people are upset is... because they feel like they can never handle what I could handle, but they want to be in my place. Because of this, no person in my place would ever truly get destroyed, but that is a dangerous thought, and I still assume that every day, the answer is "yes, I will get destroyed, so I'll keep on being a fun actor until I'm no longer here." While it's true that anyone could take my place, only I feel useless and meaningless enough to make wild takes without the fear of getting judged, because I don't mind getting banned. Now, some people might say, "HE'S TRYING TO GET BANNED! HE'S A TROLL!" So, I have to clarify that I don't mind getting banned for a bad reason. If I give a good reason to get banned, of course I'll try to negotiate, that's no way to go down. It's just that many people fear a bad judge, a crooked judge. I don't want people to fear, even if it costs me my life. And if it won't cost me my life? That's still a good outcome, since if that is the case, anyone can be fearless without fearing for their life, and I am not necessary.
The true wisdom comes from seeing how every outcome is a good outcome, and to keep on going.
I was thinking about making a group. Coming to the problem of "speedrunner strats" used to dominate new players, and make casual play irrelevant, "Card sharks" as I'm planning to call them, I thought to make a group that acknowledges the issue and tries to preserve the experience of newer players, away from speedrunner strats and closer to casual exploration. If people truly think that I'm a troll, I'm fine if someone else makes the group and runs it better than me. If people think that it's okay if I become the leader of the group, I'll... delay the group creation for a few more days. I planned to make it today, but I made this long vent instead. This... is probably the only important mention in this whole thread.
Feel free to comment. I made sure to destroy my heart just to take the worst, so don't be afraid to tell me how much I suck. Otherwise, I'll never improve: The reason why I made this vent, to begin with, is because someone brought to light what I was doing. I believe these "vent" responses are a lot healthier than prompting people to get banned, anyway.
